Solo parents dating
At first, it seemed exciting creating profiles on and Plenty of Fish and immediately getting loads of messages.
But I soon got the wind knocked out of my sails when I opened up to friends and family about my newfound love life.
It doesn’t get any easier as time passes, but a combination of wine, leaving some clothes on and having the lighting low works for me.
Things with Jack unfortunately fizzled out after a year or so – he was having a second youth of constant holidays and weekend breaks that I just couldn’t join in on, as much as I loved his approach to life.
I once crammed four dates with different men into two days, but as my ability to pick interesting and nice men online seemed to be rather lacking, having four bad dates in two days was just too depressing to repeat. But I still think I deserve someone really special.
Although I had no intention of introducing any of these casual dates to my son, the fact I am a parent did make me feel differently about whom I was choosing to spend time with. I’m sure anyone who has tried online dating has come across the married people, or the guys who are actually a foot shorter, 10 years older and 3st heavier than their profile suggests.
First up, there was the guy who told me he didn’t really like women with children and it annoyed him that there were so many mums on dating sites – even though I had written it clearly on my profile!
Their comments made me feel that my desire for dating and sex meant I wasn’t measuring up as a mum in some way.
But I seriously doubt any single dads ever receive the same type of criticism.
I’ve been flying solo since my divorce a few years ago, not long after my son Josh*, now five, was born. I was in my early 30s, single for the first time in 10 years and, after the trauma of a failed marriage, was keen to go out, have some fun and meet new people.
And, of course, the only way to find guys if you’re at home every night while your child is asleep is online dating.
In fact, a single-mum friend was seeing a guy who used her ‘lack of spontaneity’ as an excuse for sleeping with someone else.